Posts

Dear sir

Make the step now! If they won’t let you transfer, then quit and go
elsewhere. I know your current job tends to be more stable, but I think
mental stability is more important. 😉

Dear sir,

While you are absolutely right about the importance of mental stability, it’s easier to say than do. Where can I get enough funding to quit…

–roti

I think I’m really someone who lacks of patience. I don’t like having to endure and wait for the time to come. In most things, I can do something else first as an alternative, or I skip the wait altogether and afterwards, fix the mess caused by skipping the wait. But in this case, I really don’t see in what other ways I can go about it.

A friend commented on my brows. They never stop frowning for a second, even when I’m laughing.

i don’t like u

i don’t like u =(

u spreaded lies and false rumours. just because u suspect me, doesn’t mean u should spread lies to test me. =(

to some extent, i think i hate u! =(

have u thought of the consequences, of your way of proving? if i’m not, i might lose a good friend, and u might lose two. if i’m, i probably will still lose a friend and you still will probably lose two. what good will it bring u even ur suspicion is proven? does it even affect ur life?

tmd. knn. kns. ccb.

u selfish turds. as ur so-called ‘friend’, i find my greatest value to u is the entertainment value being in ur evil gossips and idle talking, and probably the ‘face’ that u gain when u r able to get the first hand info that no one else knows.

i will endure. and i will definitely plan to flee as far away from u as possible. and if i can gain back my guts before i leave, i will definitely fight back. wait and see. i’m no tom, dick or harry when i get mad. while i might not be able to escape from the hell u made me into, i definitely still have enough strength to bring u down together.

*cracking knuckles*

*more vulgar words*….

I mind, a little

Gathering with my ex-colleagues yesterday was a nice catchup, except when they mentioned a little about homosexuality. Apparently before I joined, there’s another staff who is a lesbian. One of my bosses told me that they are very open – they don’t mind if anyone of them is gay or lesbian, except for the other boss.

Today, colleagues in my dept was talking about another colleague (I’ll name him Victim to ease the story-telling) who is outstation now. So Colleague I told Colleague II that Victim has a partner. All of us in the dept know that Victim is a bit sissy. And I have overheard Victim’s phone conversation before, so I was 80% sure he’s gay. Then when Colleague I and II went on discussing Victim’s partner, apparently Colleague II didn’t have any idea about Victim’s partner (neither did I). So Colleague I said, ‘Oh, you don’t know that Victim’s partner is a guy? Isn’t he gay? His partner is of course a guy.’ ‘How did you know?’ ‘Oh, Colleague III told me about it. And Colleague III said this guy is married, to a girl. …’ and they went on.

Victim is close to Colleague III. Considering Victim isn’t out to anyone else, he must be close to Colleague III. But Colleague III is definitely not a good friend from my point of view. Because he told another person about Victim’s secret (maybe it is not so secretive but it’s not so public either).

I totally lost my confidence in telling any of my friend about my sexuality, looking at how untrustworthy these ‘friends’ are, no matter how close they seems to be.

Anyway, I was listening to their conversation, and turned to them and smile a bit several times throughout the conversation, as a sign of courtesy that I’m listening, although I don’t want to comment about it. At the end of the conversation, Colleague II turned to me and told me not to learn from Victim.

I know all of them didn’t mean anything discrimination towards gays. And I do admit the way they put gays into jokes and idle talking is not right but many of us do that, even to disabled people, elder people etc, sometimes without realizing it. But I still mind a little.