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对爱期待

孤独只不过是一种状态
有什么难过也不值得大惊小怪
释不释怀
日子也不会给你个交待

一个人有一个人的痛快
说不定还可以 悟出了道理 换來谁喝采
来不及高兴就感慨

我对爱情还会有期待
一段感情结束还有后来
这感觉有好有坏
如你会明白你就会明白

我对缘分并沒有责怪
属于各自的明天总要来
沒有应该不应该
谁不是用伤口交换未来

我沒有能力向回忆抵赖
因为爱谁不曾死去又活來
我的底牌 你別急着掀开
多余的感伤都该淘汰

我想我值得被爱

Ignorance on Bumiputeraship

The Prime Minister of Malaysia went to some community event and said that the Siamese community in the country will be looked after just like other bumiputeras.

For those who don’t know what a bumiputera is, it’s basically a term invented to describe a person who receives some preferential treatment and special privileges by the government of Malaysia systematically because their ancestors arrived to the land earlier than others.

Hearing the news that the Siamese get the bumiputera treatment, some of my friends were outraged and showed their disagreements on Facebook. On a popular local newspaper website, the news headline tells the readers that this is something new.

Hello, Malaysians! Get to know your fellow Malaysians, okay? Siamese have long been acknowledged as bumiputeras, most probably ever since the term was invented. It is NOT news.

Some of my friends don’t even know the existence of the Siamese race in Malaysia. They thought the Siamese as reported in the news are immigrants from Thailand, and that they are getting citizenships and becoming bumiputeras instantly.

Being born and raised up in Johore at the southern part of Peninsular Malaysia, I did not know about Malaysian-born Siamese from the north too, until I went to the university and mixed with the northern people.

Malaysian Siamese (in Malaysian English; or in British English, Siamese Malaysians) are pretty much like Chinese and Indians in Malaysia, are descendants of their immigrant forefathers. The term Siamese, Chinese and Indian I’m using here does not refer to their nationality but their ethnicity. Siamese descendants in Malaysia have a long history, even longer than those of some Chinese and Indians in Malaysia. Much like, Kristangs (Malaccan-Portuguese) and Baba-Nyonyas, they migrated to and settled down in Malaysia earlier than typical Chinese and Indians. Their historical root here makes them worthy of their bumiputeraship. Most of them are Theravada Buddhists, which practice Buddhism differently from the typical ‘Chinese’ Mahayana Buddhists.

But for me not knowing the existence of Malaysians in these ethnic groups before I went to university, for my friends not knowing about them even after they have gone to a university, and for a popular local newspaper not knowing about them mean something is not right. I would say it’s the failure of our education system to acknowledge these minority ethnic groups, especially when there are matters pertaining ‘special privileges’ that may be sensitive because some may question the fairness and appropriateness.

But then again, for a 8th-generation Chinese Peranakan (Baba-Nyonya) descendant in Malaysia to be given less privilege than a 1st-generation Indonesian immigrant who decided to become a Malay or marry a Malay in Malaysia does not make sense to me. With so many generations that we have been through in Malaysia, there are still no sign that this system will be slowly replaced with a more sensible one. I’m sure many, even the bumiputeras themselves, should be aware of the limitation of such system but why hasn’t anyone spoken of it?

Anyway, my main point of this post is about the ignorance of us as Malaysians to recognise ourselves—there’re so much to learn about our fellow Malaysians. So don’t hate our fellow bumiputeras for their special privileges but understand more about each other. If there’s really someone in fault for all the alleged unfairness here, it should be the policymakers who fail to recognise and acknowledge the limitation of such system.

Mungkin Nanti

Saatnyaku berkata mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua kuyakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang ku tinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Dan bila hatimu termenung bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
[Mmm] Membuka hatimu yang dulu cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua disini

Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin saat semua di sini

Tak usah kau tanya kembali
Simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri

Idiot

I’m an idiot.

Seriously, can I stop doing something stupid? It seems to me the more I’m concerned about someone, the more I appear like an idiot to that person. I’m totally embarrassed by the stupid things I have done and said.

我会好好过

你的爱很像 泡沫
太轻或太重 都不在手中
我的爱就像 天空
太放或太收 你都只是风

你来过 却爱上自由
你出走 我不问理由

我会好好过 等你再爱我
总有个角落 会让你想起我
我会好好过 等你再爱我
向右或向左
都有我站在这里守侯

你留下很多 够我面对寂寞
寂寞不重 重是爱太多
我会好好过 当你回头
看到的一定是我

我会好好过 等你再爱我
总有个角落 会让你想起我
我会好好过 等你再爱我
向右或向左
都有我站在这里守侯